January 1996
‘Then,
what? Akhil asked Ashmi with a somber expression. I can’t imagine my life
without you,’ he added for further effect.
‘I
too can’t think of marrying anyone else other than you,’ she told him in a
voice choked with emotion, but then may be destiny has willed something else
for us and tears began to well in her eyes.
‘What
happened at home when you had gone to Ranchi during winter break’, he enquired
trying to gauge the reason of her breakup with him.
‘I
wasn’t meant for you,’ she said and held his hand and began to draw circles on
his palm. ‘Nowhere in your lines is my name written, so how could we meet,’ she
tried to explain to no one but herself.
‘This
week dad will come, to talk to you, which will formalize our breakup. You try
to forget me and live well,’ she advised him, remembering a line from a glossy
where the psychologist would advise young couples on how to deal with a
breakup.
‘I
must go now or I will be late,’ she said and got up to board the bus from Lodhi
Gardens to her college.
‘Can’t
I even come and drop you the last time?’ he pleaded. No, let it be, she spoke, but
changed her mind when she looked at his eyes.
When
the bus came they hopped inside it. In the crowded bus they wriggled themselves
in, as Akhil protectively wrapped his arm around her shoulder trying hard to
keep the conversation flowing, which wasn’t possible as so many heads would
have pried on their intimate conversation.
They
got down at Moolchand and decided to walk the remaining distance so that they
could talk.
‘But,
Ashmi, why did your dad decide against me? He was so happy when I met him,’ he
spoke remembering of his meeting in which the whole clan was eager to get him
married to her, as his hand tried to hold her hand.
‘Dad
realized that I am too young to get married,’ as they ambled with heavy feet
towards the college. ‘Didn’t he realize that early,’ Akhil almost blurted, but
bit his tongue before the words could come out
‘Bye
Akhil,’ Ashmi struggled to release his hand from his grip. Akhil felt a heart
wrenching pain in his chest as he released her hand.
‘See
You!’ he murmured in a feeble voice thinking that those words[W1]
would cast its miracle once again. ‘See You,’ she said too, and ran in the
darkness of the January evening inside the red-coloured building leaving an
equally dark Akhil outside.
Dejected
Akhil boarded the bus. He kept hanging on the footboard, though the crowd was
thin inside the bus. The conductor looked at him as if he had just landed from
Mars. The poor guy was not to blame either. In the crowded DTC bus where the
whole fight was about the seat, there was a dejected soul who chose to ignore
the seat. ‘Must be a rejected lover,’ he spoke to himself but loud enough for
everyone to hear.
‘Will
you stop the bus?’ Akhil demanded.
‘Why
should we do that?’ The conductor countered now happy to pick a fight to vent
his frustration. ‘Because I asked you to
do so,’ he said to the lanky guy with a shining pate that smelt of amla oil.
‘And what do you think of yourself? Are you Narsimha Rao that I should listen
to you?’ the conductor retorted back, pleased at his general awareness. The
stop to AIIMS was inching closer and the bus began to decelerate to stop. Akhil
jumped out from the bus. From there till his home in Malviya Nagar he walked. As soon as he reached, he crawled in
his bed and pulled the covers up till his face.
‘Are
you not going to eat?’ his roommate Rakesh
Verma questioned when the the dinner came from a local caterer.
‘No,
I am not hungry,’ was all dejected Akhil could whisper.
‘Getup, have a look at the food, your appetite
will return, he insisted as he managed to speak between mouthful of food. Our
caterer has served mutton biryani today along with boondi raita.
‘I
told you, I am not hungry,’ Akhil was adamant.
‘Something wrong with you,’ asked concerned Rakesh as he moved towards
his bed.
‘Did you fight with Ashmi?’
‘No’ he screamed and Rakesh knew he meant ‘Yes.’
‘Why
don’t you eat my plate too?’Akhil offered completely exasperated by now, as he
wished that Rakesh would leave the room and give him few hours of solitude so
that he could wail in peace
‘You
sleep, I will cover your food and keep it for you,’ Rakesh said genuinely
concerned for him. Mentally he congratulated himself for not falling in love.
Girls are good for time pass and with this motto he made friends with whoever
was willing to be his friend. Marriage would happen only where and when parents
wanted. He had the license to have fun and he was making full use of it.
Akhil
yearned for for privacy. He got it when Rakesh went out to the PCO to talk to
his latest fling, Kamini Bajaj.. He bolted the door and sobbed. His body racked
and tears had a will of his own. After half an
hour he unbolted the door and
covered himself with a blanket and lied down on the bed. The next 48 hours went
just like that.
Two
days later
‘Ashmi
Mishra,,phone call for you, Ashmi Mishra..phone call for you, Ashmi Mishra..phonecall
for you, who could call me?’ Ashmi struggled to think. , who could call her in
the afternoon. Her dad would call her
only after 10, when the call rates went one-fourth. Anyway, he was going to
come in two days, so there was no need for him to call. Grudgingly she put on
her chappal and went mesmerized
towards the black public phone that hung on the wall, with impatient girls
huddled around it to take her call. If anyone has tried to play prank on me,
then she had it, she thought as she picked the phone.
‘Hello
Ashmi,’ Rakesh spoke from the other end.
‘Yes, do I know you?’ Ashmi asked trying to
figure out who could be on the other end.
‘It’s
me, Rakesh, I am Akhil’s roommate,’ the voice on the other end explained
hastily.
‘Okay!
All well with him,’ she asked now anxious about his wellbeing.
‘No,
and that’s the reason I have called you,’ he spoke.
‘What’s wrong,’ she was worried now.
‘He hasn’t eaten anything for the last two
days, and has not even gotten out of his bed,’ he informed her, as he concealed
the concluding part of the sentence, except for smoke breaks. ‘And today, he has slashed his wrist,’ he
updated her.
‘Tears
stung in her eyes,’ as she heard it.
‘How
is he now?’ she asked.
‘He
is okay, but I know he will be better if you see him,’ he urged.
Ashmi thought of her promise to her dad that
the affair should come to an end. But, one meeting isn’t going to hurt anyone,
she reasoned.
‘Yes,
I will. Where is he?’ she asked.
‘He
is at the flat,’ she said.
She
looked at her watch. It wasn’t 4.30, which meant that she couldn’t leave the
hostel officially. There was still an hour to go for 4.30. But, she could
masquerade as a day scholar and leave with them, as the college got over at
3.30. Who would be able to recognize amidst so many girls, a lone Ashmi Mishra.
Many hostellers did this, but it needed audacity. Today, she had it. There was
just a technical hitch.
She
informed Pritha Garg, her roommate for the last two years, to get the exit slip
signed and wait for her at Moolchand fly over at 7 pm. Then, they could enter
the hostel easily. Garg agreed readily, when Ashmi narrated the whole incident.
After all she was doing a noble deed of uniting two hearts and at the age of 19
no act is more ennobling than that. A bit of flouting the mindless rules was
perfectly acceptable.
Ashmi’s feet were wobbling as she went towards
the iron gate to go out before she was officially entitled to do so. ‘Buck up
girl,’ it’s all about confidence, she reminded herself as she strode out. Once
out she took an auto and reached Akhil’s flat in ten minutes flat.
Rakesh
was waiting for her outside. ‘Sorry, I called you, but I had to. Akhil doesn’t
know that I have called you, and he is going to be mad when he hears it, but I
couldn’t hide it from you any longer,’ he spoke in a hurry trying to clarify
his stand.
He
took her inside the room where Akhil was lying in a motionless state with his
head covered under a red and black, checked pattern blanket. His bandaged hand
was sprawled over it. Tears began to well in Ashmi’s eyes when she saw him.
‘I
understand you guys would need time in private to talk,’ Rakesh suggested
gallantly, as he moved out of the room only to re-enter again. ‘My apologies, I
forgot the books,’ he gestured towards books that were as good as new lying on
the table. In one of the books was the address of the place, where he had to
meet Ramya, his latest girl friend. He didn’t say that and waved his hand as he
left. Ashmi kept standing on the door for five minutes, wondering if he may
return. When he didn’t come back,, she bolted the door and sat on Akhil’s bed.
He was still lying motionless. She slowing pulled the blanket down and bend
down to kiss his forehead.
Akhil
opened his eyes and then closed it again. She kissed him once more.
‘Are
you for real?’ he mumbled, his voice just a whisper.
‘Yes,
I am,’ she reassured him.
‘Touch
me once again,’ he requested. She gingerly touched his forehead with her hand.
‘You
are running fever,’ she noted.
‘I
think I am,’ he agreed, and that’s the reason I am hallucinating. ‘How can you
be here?’
‘Because
I took an auto to come here,’ she said.
He
still had hard time believing it and held out his hand to hold her hand. ‘Listen woman, tell your dad or whoever comes
from your family, under no circumstance, I am going to leave your hand, not in
this lifetime,’ he ordered in a firm voice as he gripped her hand tightly with
no intention to leave it. She wept. ‘I can’t imagine a life without you,’ she
knew that for sure.
‘Neither
can I,’ he completed the sentence for her.
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